How should wedding ceremonies be conducted?

Question: We have seen and heard about many accidents that have happened during wedding ceremonies and changed them into ceremonies of sorrows. Would you please guide us as to how we can avoid such bad accidents in order to make the ceremonies of joy the best moments in the lives of spouses?

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The answer: The ceremonies of marriage, especially those which take place during the night of wedding, are based on joyous traditions that leave sweet memories in man’s life. Therefore, spouses care a lot for these ceremonies. They take pictures to remain with them until the last days of their lives and to remind them of those special hours, which are different from any other hours of their life.

How nice are those moments and especially the influence left in spouses’ hearts by the words of this supplication, which is read by the marriage official in the midst of the songs of the relatives who gather around the bride and bridegroom:

“O Allah, bless their marriage, unite their hearts, make their offspring good and their life happy, send Your blessings on us and them! O Allah, support whoever supports Your religion and disappoint whoever disappoints the Muslims! O Allah, make them (these spouses) among those who support Your religion and the people of Your religion and make them successful in receiving Your contentment! O Allah, satisfy our and their needs in this life and the afterlife by virtue of Muhammad and the pure progeny of Muhammad!”

Such a beautiful scene from amongst all the scenes of life deserves the best efforts and cooperation of relatives so that these ceremonies are carried out with joy and delight in the best way. However, unfortunately, in some of these weddings, quarrels take place by some irresponsible persons that do away with the joy of the young spouses who will not experience this occasion again with the same pleasure.

Such quarrels take place due to ignorance, bad education, whims, drunkenness, mixing of sexes which provokes lusts, and making passes on others that leads to disputes and suspicions, and consequently many troubles are caused.

Blessings and happiness do not come to marriages that begin with unlawful acts or encourage opportunities to commit unlawful acts. Handicaps in newborn children and disagreements that lead to divorce or griefs and distresses are the results of such unlawful actions during weddings. Exciting songs, transparent clothes that display women’s charms, bare faces with flagrant makeup before non-mahram men…all of these will extinguish the marital happiness sooner or later. Let people not think that it is harmless to celebrate the joys of a night or two in one year! Everything has its enduring effects, and how often it is that a simple matter troubles the situation and frustrates a marriage whereas its beginning was simple and trivial.

Hence, since religion and its moral teachings are very important, we continuously insist on and invite all classes of society to revive themselves in a modern and attractive way and in a language that is understandable by the youth.

Besides all that, the wedding ceremonies should be carried out accurately. Supplications and charity to the poor should not be ignored because they ward off misfortunes.

 

Source: “For a better future” written by Abdul Adheem al-Muhtadi al-Bahrani

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4 comments

  1. I understand the above. However, my question is that; Dhoki, Mehndi, and other celebrations, which is being followed in the sub-coninent by Muslims & Non-muslims alike, is it allowed in Islamic traditions/cultures or Shari’a?

    Your response would be highly appreciated!

  2. My fiance and I are eecprieinxng a bit of a role reversal, in that I am in the minority of grooms, one who is the primary planner/coordinator of our upcoming wedding. My fiance has great taste and is involved with all major decisions, but is also an extremely busy professional, so I was happy to step up as the experienced party planner, doing the homework and pre-negotiating with vendors, before my fiance and I together make final selections of vendors and the plan. However, I had never planned a wedding before, so I’ve bought many books and read lots of websites and paged through many magazines (I don’t think I can look at another magazine ad of a bride-model laying horizontal on a couch without snickering). Virtually everything is written for the bride who typically plans the wedding which to me means there is a heavy emphasis on decorations and flowers and invitations and linens and color schemes it was all driving me crazy as a guy trying to put together a wedding plan that is simply fun and action oriented, while still allows for nice things. I’ve attended many dozens of weddings over the years and I’ve kept an eye on what makes weddings enjoyable and memorable: keep it festive, keep guests involved, and make sure there is time for the happy couple to spend time with each of the guests. I never saw any correlation with the size of the party, the location, the decorations, even the food quality (and I’m a big foodie), with how successful and fun the wedding was. Given this perspective, I looked and looked for wedding planning advice in all the books and magazines and websites, hoping to find action oriented advice for having a festive wedding reception frankly, I found little useful advice. Finally, just three months before our upcoming wedding, I have found the book I really needed on the recommendation of a wedding DJ friend (who lives and works in another state), I ordered Peter Merry’s book, which I have found to be chock full of actionable ideas from an experienced wedding DJ/entertainment director. He focuses on the concept of entertainment and leaves decorations and other more frivolous things to the other books. He is a welcome voice, a rare male perspective in wedding planning books, that a planning groom, and presumably planning brides as well, needs. I’ve already made adjustments to the reception agenda and found validation with some activity ideas we already had in place. Rest assured, there will be great food and many touches of elegance in the design of our wedding, but I am now more confident as ever we will have a truly festive wedding with Peter Merry’s advice influencing our plan. Many thanks to the author the advice is easily 10 times worth the cover price of the book. I strongly recommend this book to anyone planning their wedding.

  3. Karen Cody – We are interested in getnitg a wedding estimate for a date in October 2013 and what exactly the cost of the site and wedding reception will include (i.e., cake, dinner, open bar, linens, table, appetizers, etc.)Thanks, karen

  4. Such an impressive answer! You’ve beaten us all with that!

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